Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I killed someone on minecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -20

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sarah Palin's political campaign

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops