Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

Granny porn!

Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

it was all Tagart

How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

A blind child sign is at the end of my street. I have never seen the child, but at least if he were to come outside at the right time period i might be able to spot him, whereas he would having no way of returning the gesture.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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