why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Obama = ebola

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops