Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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