How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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You were born.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops