Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops