How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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George W. Bush

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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Caramel Boing.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops