What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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it was all Tagart

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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69

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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