A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops