What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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69

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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