What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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