What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Your so gay, that you like men!

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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