A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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