What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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