Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops