one morning i turned on my tv

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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what did the farmer do? plant

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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