What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An man walks to a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops