Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Make me famous

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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