What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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it's funny because it's funny

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops