Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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How would you rule?

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops