So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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TIMMY

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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