A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Justin's life

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you end a sentence

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Stephen Hawking

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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roses are black violets are black i am blind

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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