Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

Yellow People !!

What ended in the year 1970? 1969

I am paralyzed from the neck down.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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