- Anti Joke

Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

Women's rights.

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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