What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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Democracy.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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