why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

What happens when you give a boy a cookie? He falls asleep and his parents think he was kidnapped by a serial killer.

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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