Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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hi michael

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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The cream, it is coming

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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