A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops