why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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ert

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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You were born.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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