How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Paper or plastic? Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops