What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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you give like i give lomain

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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Cliterus

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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