"...."-Hellen Keller

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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What do you do when you see a person sleeping at a bus stop? You fart on their head

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One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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WNBA

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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