What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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I love you

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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