Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why did the Chicken cross the Road? To get to the other side! (To fully appreciate the subtle nuisances of this joke, you really have to be a chicken.)

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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alert('The Game')

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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