What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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Knock knock Who's there Police, there's been an accident Oh really? Know i'm actually a serial rapist and i have a gun so open up

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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