What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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poop.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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