A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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