I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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Justin Bieber

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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i like men but im not gay

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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69

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Amazing

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops