Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you get a girl to pay for food? You Rape Her

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does the president and the prime minister of china have in common, Sickle cell anemia. 342

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Girls Lacrosse.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops