why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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