Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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I like touching my boobs

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whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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