Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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