What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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