YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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Who does creatine? James Cornish

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

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White men's rights

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So this fat guy farts. It smells.

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19 roosters walk into a roller coaster

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops