A group of black people are arrested for murder, what do you need? A better prison.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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what do you call a black man living in Brooklyn making over ten-thousand dollars a week? a hard worker

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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Women's rights.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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