A sober Amy Winehouse

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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do you have a wife?

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Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops