So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, I do not stand for them.

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops