A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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You might be a redneck if you have red on your neck

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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(Timmy has no arms or legs.) A:Knockknock! B:Who's there? ANot Timmy

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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