A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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this joke is funny so dont read the rest even though there is no rest

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Q: What do you call a cow wearing a hat? A: A cow wearing a hat.

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What do you call a black man with mishap-in head scares on the left side of his face and a 3rd degree burns on the right side? a very unfortunate guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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