I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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