Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Eh yo Sean u mr. Kingston Hey, how are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops